Metalstorm: The Destruction of Jared-Syn – 1983

I will refer to this movie as Metalstorm although its full title is Metalstorm: The Destruction of Jared-Syn. Pretty long title that seems unnecessary to wear my keyboard down with. I should have realized that it was a movie for acquired taste when I saw that Charles Band was involved in it. Not that every movie he has touched over the years is awful but they’re kinda like “special”. With that said, I like to point out that I really like the story in Metalstarm, it’s just one of those fantastic stories you only find in low-budget flicks from the past. I don’t think anyone could make a movie like this these days.

And apparently, they couldn’t back in 1983 either—at least not this one. As I said, the story in Metalstorm is fine. It’s a tale of a megalomaniacal ruler who needs to rule everything and uses some crystals to convince the people that he is the one. Of course, there is also the hero who at some point gets hell bent on killing the upcoming dictator. Add some futuristic-looking post-apocalyptical vehicles and you have it. There are a few of these movies out there. Some are better than others and some are just like this one. That is to say, boring.

Becauce it’s really an interesting concept. I should like this, it has everything in it that I like in a movie of this kind. There are fantastic costumes, some badly made monsters, some flashy lighting effects, and pretty neat acting to be frank. But it just never lifts off. It’s tedious and boring and you never get the sense that anything really matters. It’s a shallow movie where nothing has any meaning. A color without shape so to speak. I had high hopes for this one but it just fell flat.

The ending is kind of open for a sequel but I don’t think there ever was one. I would probably watch it but I doubt that I would enjoy it more than I did this.